Talk-to-Your-Kids-About-Drug-and-Alcohol-Risks

10 Resolutions That Show Your Kids You Care

1. • Teach your children to trust you by seeing you as a role model.

2. Be patient, not just tolerant. Apologize when you make a mistake or do something you regret.
3. Ask teens what they need from you - and do whatever you can to meet those needs.
4. Listen to your teens, a lot. Avoid interrupting.
5. Teach your children about ethics, values and principles they can apply in choices and decision making.
6. Help them discover the feeling of gratitude, not just to say thank you.
7. Keep the promises you make. If you do not keep your word, acknowledge that. Help your teen understand the circumstances or choices that precipitated the change in your plans.
8. Answer your teen's questions and be consistent. When you notice behavioral changes in them, make yourself available and encourage them to talk about what is going on in their life.
9. Be understanding when they have a difficult time and let them know you will love them no matter what.
10. Be diligent. Have ongoing conversations with your kids about the risks of drugs and alcohol.

Dying teenager takes a chance on love

Two teens, Sabrina Parker and Matthew Scozzari, decide to take a chance on love, while there is still time. Sabrina, 16, is suffering from ALS, what is supposed to be an 'old person's disease.' It…

Teens-Are-Using-Nutmeg

News agencies report that teens are snorting, smoking, drinking and eating large amounts of nutmeg, a spice traditionally used for holiday baking, in an effort to get high.

Here are the facts:

Myristicin is a compound occurring naturally in nutmeg that has mind-altering effects such as hallucinations or a sense of euphoria.

To achieve these effects, large amounts have to be ingested.

The effects take awhile to kick in so teens often think they haven’t taken enough and continue to ingest the spice.

According to the Poison Control Centers the side effects to the drug in nutmeg are substantial. They include convulsions, nausea, upset stomach, vomiting, dehydration, dizziness, drowsiness and depression.

The physiological effects of ingesting nutmeg are not well studied but are likely include increased blood pressure and heart rate, blurred vision or respiratory problems.

Teen Son Wants to Move(Opinions)

Mom on the forum is seeking advice: "My son will be 16 in Feb and has lived with me his whole life, his father lives 2000 miles away from us and has had your typical visitation over the years (summers holidays). My son is in his sophomore yr of High School now and has gone to school here for all but 1.5 yrs of elementary school. A few days ago he asked me if he could go live with his father for his Jr and Sr. year of High School...I feel like my heart got ripped out but understand his reasons for wanting to move there. However, I really feel that moving at this point in high school is a huge mistake, he will have to not only figure out where he fits in with school but also in the family. He has other siblings there, I never had anymore children so it is just my son, me and my husband. What should I do?"

Denise's thoughts: I think you should talk more about it with him, respecting his thoughts on the matter. If his reasoning is sound and the only reason you don't want him to move is that you will miss him - which is valid! - maybe you can try it for a year and see how it goes?

Either way, both of you making a pros and cons list of what the move would mean and then take time to talk before you make a decision is probably your best course of action.

Please Give Your Comments Below

Help for Mom of 11-Year-Old Daughter

A mom on the forum is seeking advice: "My daughter is 11 yrs. old. Her behavior has escalated into something that is beyond control. She has increased her lying, she is stealing from whoever she can. She is a great manipulator, she can put on the act. I have tried numerous strategies to try and get the situations under control. She has ran away, try to blamed another child. Police and everyone was involved in the search. The last stunt was her brother's wallet containing $60.00 and gift cards, she has taken it. She took it. Lied about it... I am at a loss! I don't know what else to do.

Denise's thoughts: She is acting out and needs help, as I am sure you realize. If the counseling she is receiving is not helping, you will want to look at other programs that are available.

I would also take some time to adjust your expectations of her. She is currently not capable of acting in the way you are expecting. If you don't expect that she will tell the truth, you will not get as emotional when she lies and you will be more capable of handling the situation she has put you in. Being capable is what you want to be when using discipline.

Did these parents over-punish their teen?

A mom on our forum is seeking advice: I really need some perspective here. We have a 13-year-old son who is generally a really good kid--star forward on his soccer team, 3.6 gpa. He and my husband have been in a bit of a power struggle ever since he (my son) hit puberty. I am definitely the "softy" parent. Last month my son told a lie about using his computer during the day when he'd been told not to. He has lied in the past but always little things, such as finding cash around the house and pocketing it instead of leaving it alone. My husband's punishment for the lie was no computer for 2 months and no texting for 4 months. We live in a very isolated area, and my son's texting has been his lifeline to his friends when he's not at school. I went along with the punishment because I felt I was being forced to choose between my husband and my son, and I wanted to put up a united parenting front--but now I am wracked with guilt that the punishment was way too extreme. Please help me know whether I did the right thing, and what a more appropriate response could have been.

Denise's thoughts: I think what your husband chose to take away from him was good, but the timing is long. The thing about punishment when it's too long, it loses it's effectiveness as a deterrent from bad behavior and becomes a catalyst of bad feelings within the family instead. The feelings of guilt you're having, for instance.

I have some resources for discipline, but I want to point out that power struggles never lead to good things. Maybe when your teen is out you and your husband can talk about how to handle disciplining your teen before there is a problem and it becomes emotional and escalates. As for what you do now with your teen, I think you should fall back and regroup.

1 in 5 Teens Are Hyper-texters

A study conducted by APHA found that 1 in 5 teens are hyper-texters, which means they text more than 120 times a day. Think about it, if each text takes 1 to 2 minutes of time, that is two to four full hours of time out of their day just texting. I think we can all agree that there are better things our teens can be doing with their time.

The study was conducted in 20 public high schools in the Cleveland area last year, and is based on confidential paper surveys of more than 4,200 students. And what is being reported around the net about this study that is considered shocking?!? It's that these hyper-texting teens are more apt to have had sex or used alcohol and drugs. Really? I don't find it shocking that teens who text for 2 to 4 hours a day may not have enough parental supervision to keep them off drugs and making smarter choices about sex. (If you are worried, learn how to talk to your teen about tough issues here.) Even the study's lead author, Dr Scott Frank associate professor of epidemiology and biostatistics at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, said, "If parents are monitoring their kids' texting and social networking, they're probably monitoring other activities as well." That's it in a nutshell, isn't it?

Tips to Handle Teen Back Talk

Talk and Suggestions:

Back Talk My Parents! Not Me!!

WOW! Not in my younger days. That was not heard of in the Black Community. That was Taboo, you just didn't do it. Doing my younger years we were taught Manners and Respect at home, school and Church. Some of the White Children dare not do it neither. This generation today is out of control. Corporal punishment is frown apond. Some of these children need an "Old Fashion Butt Whipping". I would never tell my parents to Kiss My A-- and leave me the Fu-- alone. This I have heard in stores and the parent did just what the child said to do. Spent over $300.00 in clothing for this particular child. If I had said that to my mom or dad, I would have been hit in the mouth so fast I would never see it coming. Parent need to take back their role as the PARENT as act like a parent and not the "FRIEND"! If they start correcting the bad behavior, while the child is young and stay on top of it. Then there is a possibility Parent can correct this. I am 65 yrs old.

Sounds Great

I love Nicole and Chancellor's suggestions! These should be the first options, and privilege removal (like games) is a good option for when they refuse to talk to you. At the same time, it's important to respect their property ownership. Like, if an X box is given to them as a gift, you aren't allowed to take it. But you do pay the electric bill so you could shut off the power to his room.

Discern

I too, struggle with the back talking my teens will engage in rather harshly. Most of the time, I repeat what they are trying to say in a calm polite way, completely disregarding their "tone". Usually, I ask them if they agree with me that what I said (in a courteous manner) is exactly what they meant. I then say, I'm just making sure with a smile on my face. It is important to them that we, as parents, can help them communicate, respectfully without judging them in any negative way.