Teen Son Wants to Move(Opinions)

Mom on the forum is seeking advice: "My son will be 16 in Feb and has lived with me his whole life, his father lives 2000 miles away from us and has had your typical visitation over the years (summers holidays). My son is in his sophomore yr of High School now and has gone to school here for all but 1.5 yrs of elementary school. A few days ago he asked me if he could go live with his father for his Jr and Sr. year of High School...I feel like my heart got ripped out but understand his reasons for wanting to move there. However, I really feel that moving at this point in high school is a huge mistake, he will have to not only figure out where he fits in with school but also in the family. He has other siblings there, I never had anymore children so it is just my son, me and my husband. What should I do?"

Denise's thoughts: I think you should talk more about it with him, respecting his thoughts on the matter. If his reasoning is sound and the only reason you don't want him to move is that you will miss him - which is valid! - maybe you can try it for a year and see how it goes?

Either way, both of you making a pros and cons list of what the move would mean and then take time to talk before you make a decision is probably your best course of action.

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Keeping the Kids Safe This Halloween

Halloween, while the absolutely favorite holiday for many fathers and children, is fraught with risk for kids. Dark streets, costumes with limited visibility, and children who have fun terrorizing smaller ones, are all part of the Halloween experience. Here are several short articles with information for fathers about keeping their children safe on Halloween.

Keeping Kids Safe at Halloween Parties:
Older children often want to attend Halloween parties with their friends. What can a dad do to help make sure his kids are safe when they attend a Halloween party away from home?
Trick or Treating Safety:
The younger kids loves to dress up and head out to trick or treat in the neighborhood, at a local shopping mall or just out and about. But trick or treating, while really fun, has some inherent risks. Find out what a father needs to know and do to make trick or treating a safer experience.
Halloween Safety at Home:
Halloween decorations and activities can sometimes be unsafe if not handled properly at home. Check out our tips for Halloween safety right at home.

Lower Position in Study By Shining Students

Why Bad Grades Happen to Good Kids: What Parents Need to Know, What Parents Need to Do is an excellent book by Linda and Alvin Silbert for parents of all teens who want to help them achieve their best in school. Perfect for those parents whose teen’s grades may be slipping and you want to see what you can do about it. It is not the first book to grab if your teen is in crisis and failing his/her classes. Although, it would be a recommended read the next time you are not in crisis mode.
Suggestions:

Pros

    * Many well thought out parenting strategies.
    * Places education in the correct perspective.
    * Author’s writing style makes the book an easy read.
    * Book includes real life examples.

Cons

    * Title implies quick fix for troubled teens, not so.

Description

    * The book is written for all age groups, but teens are not just an add-on.
    * The book goes into specific help for meeting your teen’s basic needs that in turn helps with school.
    * Devoted a whole chapter to the trust issue, one that parents and teens really need.

Guide Review - Why Bad Grades Happen to Good Kids
Book Description: This easy-to-read guide will help parents help their children succeed in all stages of their educations. The Silberts work with parents to help figure out and address the root of a child's problems in school, instead of just treating the symptom: the bad grades. The book provides examples and techniques, and contains many real-life anecdotes about the students and parents the Silberts have worked with. The chapters are organized using S+T+R+O+N+G, an acronym that stands for Self-esteem + Trust + Responsibility + Options + Needs + Goals, the six interconnected areas central to the development of emotionally, socially, and intellectually strong kids. This is a great book for educators as well as for parents.

Denise's Thoughts: I liked this book and found much of the information very valuable to parents of teens that want to get a handle of how school fits into their teen’s life and what they can do to help their teen achieve. I had a hard time with some of the examples, as I didn’t see how these teens in crisis fit with the overall theme of the book, which spoke to me as a preventative rather than a fix-it type of book.