Teens' Problemz: Did these parents over-punish their teen?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Did these parents over-punish their teen?

A mom on our forum is seeking advice: I really need some perspective here. We have a 13-year-old son who is generally a really good kid--star forward on his soccer team, 3.6 gpa. He and my husband have been in a bit of a power struggle ever since he (my son) hit puberty. I am definitely the "softy" parent. Last month my son told a lie about using his computer during the day when he'd been told not to. He has lied in the past but always little things, such as finding cash around the house and pocketing it instead of leaving it alone. My husband's punishment for the lie was no computer for 2 months and no texting for 4 months. We live in a very isolated area, and my son's texting has been his lifeline to his friends when he's not at school. I went along with the punishment because I felt I was being forced to choose between my husband and my son, and I wanted to put up a united parenting front--but now I am wracked with guilt that the punishment was way too extreme. Please help me know whether I did the right thing, and what a more appropriate response could have been.

Denise's thoughts: I think what your husband chose to take away from him was good, but the timing is long. The thing about punishment when it's too long, it loses it's effectiveness as a deterrent from bad behavior and becomes a catalyst of bad feelings within the family instead. The feelings of guilt you're having, for instance.

I have some resources for discipline, but I want to point out that power struggles never lead to good things. Maybe when your teen is out you and your husband can talk about how to handle disciplining your teen before there is a problem and it becomes emotional and escalates. As for what you do now with your teen, I think you should fall back and regroup.

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Things Hated By Men In Bed Must Read

We already gave you, guys, some tips about what women hate in bed, and know it’s about time to talk about things that men hate in bed about female behavior. So, ladies, read this carefully if you don’t want to leave bad impression for a guy when you have sex with him. Of course these things might be helpful not for every single couple, because eveyone of us have different needs and requirements for sex.

1. During sex some women doesn‘t do anything – just lie down and expect to have some pleasure now. That is the worst thing you can do, men hate that. Women should move, despite man is on the top. Women, show your partners that you want to have sex with them as well as he does. If women look like “lying dead” – partner can even get sexual problems, if he cares how to give you pleasure.

2. Almost every woman would agree that she likes to be kissed. Well the same is with men. They also love when women are kissing them, all his body. That drives them crazy. If you want to satisfy your men in bed, kiss him, tease and play with him.

3. Some old fashioned women still think that man has to take all the control in bed while having sex. But that is absolutely wrong. Women also have to take control in bed. Show that you want to have sex now, tell him what he has to do, because now you are the one who is dictating the rules. I can assure your man will be very excited and pleased about such an action. Sometimes they like to be controlled.

4. Be very sensitive to your partner. Women like to have sensitive man next to her, try doing the same to your man. Men’s bodies are really sensitive and women should do their best to make him feel as good as he makes her feel. Ladies, don’t be egoistic.

5. If you want to get pleasure, don’t forget to give it to your partner too. Men sometimes thing that their lady in bed doesn’t care at all what is he feeling, does he like her actions. Women should always remember to ask questions such as “how do you like that?”, “how does that feel?” Let him know that you care what he feels and if he likes that or not. They love to have your attention.

6. Don’t confuse your partner. Some women don’t show their emotions – that means men do not understand weather you like it or not. Don’t feel shy to scream when you feel like screaming from pleasure, breathe a bit harder. Do some noise, because it’s the best way to inform your partner about your feelings at that moment. That would help you too. Your man will know what you like best and you will be rewarded.

7. Do you feel your sexual life is getting a bit boring? Take some action – keep it new. Don’t be shy to surprise your partner with some new sexy outfit. Wear it, dance to him and you will drive him crazy. They love little teasing with sexy clothes and get excited about upcoming sex.